心 与 情

嗯，该有一年了吧？学会打中文后，那在窗前摇笔杆的日子似乎已成为遥远的记忆。但我仍然坚持在每年的年尾（今天）写下那年里经历过的点点滴滴，趁我还懂得手写中文，趁我还没忘却这年里让我触动心铉的喜怒哀乐，一字一句，一笔一划的忆起当时的情景。间中感动的泪滴模糊字迹，心酸的感觉涌上了鼻头，愤怒的火在心中燃烧，甜蜜的微笑残留在嘴角。。。。。。。还有为了忆起忘记的字眼而绞尽脑汁，在这短短的几小时（不知不觉过了几小时，大概有3 或4 小时吧）经历了不一样的心情，像是重温旧梦般。 为什么要记载已逝去的事与物？或许是怕忘却当时的心情吧，一种可以让我在多年以后，在某年某月忆起的感觉吧？偶尔回看过去的往事，当时认为天大的事情，如今看来，不过尔尔，笑看当年的年少轻狂，年少无知，还真别有一番滋味在心头。在这当中至少我可以看到自己的蜕变，和心路历程。。。。。。 再过5天就是2008 年了，我的天，我快到了二字头的尾端，我还有三个未完成的愿望要实现！但今年里至少我达到一个，还学会了，别定下难以在当下达到的目标和懂得珍惜别人的付出。 要完成一个遥不可及的梦等于在发梦，脚踏出的第一步才是达到梦境的起点; 别人的付出不是必然的，不能接受也要懂得感激。希望别再有，别人走了老远后，才起步想并肩而行，但留给我的只剩下散落在地上的感觉。

记载我的心情故事的所在

Wish Come True~ yeah

Today, one of my many wishes has finally come true. Really happy although I just fulfill with one out of four of my wishes. What is my wishes? Emm, 1st is high paid job, 2nd is new car, 3rd is keep fit, 4th is …..hehe, u know which wishes I fulfilled? :)

等待

等待是最让人煎熬的一种感觉，尤其是等待着不确定的结局。渴望得到的欲望越高，患得患失的感觉更让人心慌得不知所措。很怕，得不到的失落感，更怕，得到后失去的挫败感。明天，将会是一个关键时刻，不知会得到什么样的结果，真的很怕，很怕。。。。。。

X'mas

I really like the weather when the Christmas is around the corner. The blue skies and white clouds, and the north wind is blowing gently……it’s really a wonderful season! Although sometimes it will rain, the feeling of being cheerful and the sense of being romantic couldn't be affected by such matter. Just feel like want to have a ride and gather with friends…….
Would like to share some old but nice songs with you all. Enjoy……^_^

Smile Always ^_^

Yesterday, we have a department meeting with the manager and supervisor. We were told by the manager to voice out our opinion on…….When it was my turn, the manager suddenly said that I have a smiling face all the while and will get no. 1 in the smiling competition.
Actually, most of my colleagues always said I’m a smiling girl but I don’t realize it myself. I smile because I feel happy. You must be wondering if the company treat us so good that I’m so happy working here. In actual fact, I’m not entirely happy working in this company.
I dislike those people who always want to show off, those who are autocratic and the work assigned……but I just feel happy, coz I pass through hard time in my previous company. It really a hard time, I merely forget how to smile for a very long time when I was there. That why I really appreciate what I have now.
So next time when u feel disappointed or in a bad mood then u can try thinking this way, compare current situation with the hardest time in your life which you encounter before, then sure can smile always……^_^.

十年前。后

上星期六，去中学同学兼好友的“留厅晚”（wedding’s eve）结婚前夕??(是这样说吗？糟糕，连华语都退步了)，大家在看回十年前毕业前的相片，（哈，别误会，是中五毕业啦）, 当时还稚嫩的脸孔，如今有的已成为孩子的妈妈，有的已失去连络，也有还是单身的。。。。。。，突然有种变老的感觉 >”< , 那时的情景彷如昨日，却是十年前的光景。在想，十年以后的今天，回想今天的自已时，又会是什么样的一种心情呢？

迷思

最近发了一场恶梦，在梦中心爱的手机被偷了，里面有很多值得珍惜的东西。我发疯似的追那人，但却徒劳无功。正当我心碎得要流出眼泪的那瞬间，我从梦中惊醒。当时我真的很庆幸那只时一场梦。梦虽是虚幻的，但心痛得要碎的感觉却是真实的。
这梦让我领悟到一些从前不曾有过的感觉。曾几何时，和朋友争论着“曾经拥有过总比从未拥有来得强。”原来不是这样的。未曾拥有，虽然不能感受拥有时的快乐，但也不会体会失去时那痛彻心扉的感觉。但。。。。如果，如果人生没了拥有的快乐和失去的痛苦，那岂不是一片空白？？那空白的人生会有意义吗？

angle

This week is EHS week (Environmental Health & Safety Week) in my company, the events including of blood donation, eyes screening, fruit charity and etc. That day I heard a meaningful word when I was in the washroom.
The conversation is as below:
A: how much is the banana?
B: RM1 for small one, RM1.50 for bigger one (if not mistaken)
A: wah, so expensive!!
B: you donate RM1.50 and getting a banana in return, is very cheap indeed.

Agreed with her point of view, but I don’t know who she is actually, as I just heard her voice when I was in the toilet, :P but I really appreciated her wisdom.

Sometimes, if we go and judge the same thing in different angle, we will have a different feeling and experience in return. Go and try it, you will feel better. ^-^

moderate

I get my first blood screening report few days ago. When I received it from the nurse and before opening it, I had such a feeling as if I am getting my exam result during schooling time. After my sacrifice for loss a lot of blood and get a big bruise on my hand, lucky my result nothing goes wrong, the report says that i am just a bit high (really a bit only) in cholesterol and protein. I asked my colleague, why high in protein is a risk too? Protein is good for health what. She gave me a meaningful answer, “"No matter good or bad something is, if it is in excess, then that would be a problem."Emm, agreed, coz if got too much money, then we will feel un-secure and scare of losing it. Nevertheless, what if got too many happiness? Is tat a problem too?? For those who always live in happiness, will eventually lack the sense of risk management, they will become nervous and fragile when face some issue or problems.

My hand after few days of blood screening

U will, when u believe???

Although today is the 1st time I start my blog here, but this is the 2nd blog I write in English. A week back, I never think that I also can write in English. Last time, when I saw those guys wrote their blogs in English, I do envy and feel inferior. Because I never ever think that other than my exam, I can write so many English words before. Just like 10 years back, I never ever think that one day I can have my Mortarboard. During my schooling time, I was a lazy, lack of confident and happy go lucky girl, and never plan for my future, my ambition that time is to be a primary school teacher, properly is a mathematic n mandarin teacher. (Need to clarify here, I’m not looking down on primary school teacher and think that is easy to become a teacher, maybe is because I like to share my knowledge by teaching people. ^_^ ). (Aiya, need to clarify again, it doesn’t mean that now I already climb the higher ladder in my career lah) Although I’m lazy to study, but I sure will finished all my homework given by teachers and seldom absent. (I’m a good girl indeed, yeah!) What make me start to become a hardworking girl? During my form 3, I heard that if fail the PMR, then cannot continue to form 4. I really scare that time, although I dun like study, but I really enjoy my schooling time; although I never think to get my degree in near future, but I really hope that at least I can get my SPM certificate. Fortunately, I get my PMR with 1’s A and SPM with 5’s A. emm. actually I’m quite a clever gal right? But why ACCA ruin my confident again and again? >”<

Do you believe the theory of “You will, when you believe”? For me, sometimes “Yes”, but most of the time is “No”. Cause in this world, got a lot of thing is beyond our control, although we spend a lot of time and effort into it, but what we get is “zero” in return. Maybe the content of “zero” including gain some valuable experience, feeling and so on, but what I hope to get from it is not that only……

Today really is a good day, is a sunshine day after few days of raining. It doesn’t mean that I hate raining days, but is seem really too much recently. Just like what people said, “Rainbow will appear After a heavy rain”, I do and really hope that can see a wonderful rainbow in my hard life time……

P/S: Need to thank my “lucky star”—CL, thank for your encouragement when I start my 1st English blog, really appreciate it. ^_^

Do u see the rainbow after the rain???